So I decided to go check out the new derby in Delavan...
Very interesting. As usual, some cool chicks starting up a league. They've got all the hard stuff ahead of them, a place to practice that isn't big enough to host bouts, and girls trying their damnedest to get better each week at skating. I want to help them. I want to be part of their league.
I feel at home.
So much so that I ordered some SUPER grippy wheels. The floor is filthy. The owner of the rink also rents it out for banquets and such. Its an ancient building... one of the girls visiting from Stateline Derby Divas mentioned that her grandparents met there, as Janesville had no rink back in those days... It has the old fold-out windows, no air conditioning, and is a cinder block structure. Its absolutely cool though. I'd probably get air if it were my building (and refinish the floor, and not rent it out so that the floor gets so freaking disgusting that its like a slip n' slide for skaters...)
I need to find the rest of my gear... currently unsure where it is.
the girls seemed very friendly and also glad to see someone who wants to join who has already been immersed in derby before. One of the girls I talked to thought it was weird that I jam better than I block. I simply stated "I see much better forward than I do backward. I can't see people coming up behind very well." She nodded. This made sense. Most people in their right minds wouldn't think of jamming as "easier." Its not. But its an easier position to play so long as you have speed on your side and can take at least a few decent hits.
Derby is about the only thing that really helps me anytime I feel like shit.
Eventually I hope to move to Milwaukee for school and join Brewcity. I think my happiness lies outside of the town of Edgerton. Much as I don't mind it and its a fun place to visit... living here and spending long periods of time here are exhausting. Daily irritations by dramas I don't understand, friends changing behaviors, and that ever present nagging reminder of just how many times you've failed romantically and how many of these people all know each other, are friends, and somehow, the subject comes up between them. Or they give me some bullshit opinion on something. Or they somehow just make me feel shitty without really trying because of something they say.
Fuck all of that.
At least I have something to do that makes me feel a little less like a complete loser.
Although I could always look to the person who's currently residing on my old couch in my house, who doesn't help with the bills his mom and brother are trying to keep paid, while he sits on the couch eating. At least I'm employed. At least I buy my dad supper a lot of the time if I go somewhere or bring him a pizza... at least I buy my own soda and snacks unless my mom sees Coca-cola on sale... and if my mom asks if I have 10 bucks to give my dad because he doesn't have lunchmeat to pack a lunch, I leave it on the counter for him.
Speaking of which, hopefully I'll make some decent money tomorrow and Friday, I have a Dave and Buster's trip to go on. Also hoping good things for Tuesday as a friend and I are taking a mental health day at Mt. Olympus Waterpark.
Sometimes there's glimmers of hope in my sea of bleak.
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1 comment:
GET OUT OF TOWN INFINITY.
I think you should* do something that makes you happy right now and also look for things that'll make you happy long term. I know you have issues that make that much more difficult right now and I don't have answers. I think if it were me, at this point I'd put the house up, take a loss and probably file bankruptcy. I never thought I'd say that but if you get that condo then you're TIED TO TOWN indefinitely. Everything you do has to be close enough to it and then if/when you want to leave you have to sell a condo in an empty building. Who's going to buy it?? Also, most people are aware that that building sat open and exposed in the rain for some time. I think that would be getting yourself in even deeper.
Um, so that's off topic. Anyway, if you really want to get out then you need to buckle down and not spend any money basically. Food and necessary gas. Sucks but that's the only way.
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