Yes, I am quoting Lady Gaga.
This could be taken many ways.
A. I like love that's damn near impossible, against the odds, etc.
B. I like "it" rough.
Take your pick.
"The one you love and the one that loves you are never, ever the same person." from 'Invisible Monsters'
This doesn't always ring true, but as of right now, it does. Why? Well, I have had a serious case of the "likes" for the same grumpy curmudgeon who is stuck in his ways for years. What's holding us back? We're both deathly afraid of each other. Maybe he doesn't like me as much as I like him. Maybe we'll drive each other nuts and end up apart anyways. Maybe we'd do good things for each other (like smoothing each other's rough edges). Maybe nothing. Maybe something.
Maybe maybe maybe.
Does it say anything too that I am one of the few people that can really take him to task? He often listens to me. I can usually keep up with whatever goofy ass tangent he's on, and somehow, for some reason, I like his weird, zany self. I mean he's out there. (Don't even point a finger at me, I know people say that about me too). Well kids, it ain't gonna change unless one of us changes it. And so help me God, I try. I do. But I cannot beat down his door, jump in his lap, and tell him "Fuck it lets just do this thing."
So what am I doing? Spending my time with someone else teaching them the finer details in the dominant vs. submissive game. I'm constantly asking myself what I am doing. Yes, there is chemistry that way. He annoys the crap out of me often. If we ever truly dated, we'd argue a lot. Heck, sometimes I don't even LIKE him. But a person has needs, and he's fufilling them.
We've had numerous conversations about this, and I think he finally gets it. I get it, anyways. There is no "us."
Plus, let's just say that helps the writing process. Or at least, the creative process.
I can't even believe I've committed that to written word. I've admitted it. *sigh*
Back to the writing process. I think its time to try outlines.
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